Unempathetic! The spell checker says it's not even a word! Totally not. Although you were right on the last point.
Dunno what to write so here are my main points to avoid a stream of consciousness
- Repetition
- Change
So, things are lining up for something that I don't particularly like. To reuse stale imagery (which is still useful according to Orwell) it's like a foreboding cloud that's coming my way. This shit reminds me of that Elizabethan view drilled into me by Boukatos (an epic teacher). Freaking wheel of fortune or fate or what not. If things are awesome they're bound to get shit soon so brace for it. Right now I guess some of these things make me quite happy, but I'm already worried of the badness. What's worse is that this could be badness that has happened before.
Ruh oh.
This train of thought is bad. I'm just going to keep waiting for badness to happen and when it does it'll be some sort of reinforcement to my mental picture. While nothing bad does happen, I'll just be waiting and waiting which could kill whatever mood I have (whenever I'm not dead/ angry/ miserable that is).
So much for avoiding train of thought. END TANGENT
And I'll take my precautions but avoid the issue entirely. What's the word? Closure. Reminds me of Poh cooking her deep fried meringues. I am close to 100% sure you'd hate me but it's not certain. What if you don't after all? But I'd get destroyed if it happened again. So I won't take that risk.
2. Change
Linked to repetition. There has been a few changes lately, one of which has been so slow but quite all affecting. Like a glacier! I'm proud of that image, grinding slowly away at everything, but undeniably. Well I had a reappraisal today and have a new view on the situation but the fact remains some changes have already had their effect. I like to place and categorize people ( aren't I an awesome douche?) but
I don't know where to place you.
I don't know what to do with you.
Thinking that another tragedy could happen scares the fuck out of me. Now wouldn't it be awesome if I could talk to someone about that. Yeah? YEAH?
BUT FUCK NO
WATCH THE INDEPENDENT PANDA
.
.
.
Be independent.
Its obvious other people have changed. I wonder if I've changed over the past few months. Maybe even after HSC. Could I possibly be happier and more self confident? Reading what I've written above seems to scream NO but maybe? Maybe?!
A surprise!
3. Douchery
I'M SORRY FOR RAGE QUITTING AND BEING A HYPOCRITICAL PIECE OF SHIT SCUMBAG. MANY MANY SORRIES. SORRY SOME MORE.
Sorry!
Ooh wasn't that weird reading all of that? Oh well. Self helping purposes. This stuff keeps me from going insane.
End note: It's posts like these that make me smile at my warning at the top of the page. I. Told. You. So... Now get that cheese grater.
No comments:
Post a Comment