Stuff

I have no idea if other people get this but being around happy and talky people getting worked up over something is really exhausting to me. Like really exhausting. Pretending to be happy or trying to get into the same sort of mindset like them just to feel included drains me even more so I just don't really bother... at all really. Being happy shouldn't seem to take effort right? And so it feels like its more enjoyable to go off by myself than hang around.

I downloaded Grindr on my phone recently and have been going online just to have a peek. I find it somewhat amusing that most of the people that pop up around me are like 'curious leb/ wog' and stuff like that. So far I've had 3/4 people talk to me, two of which instantly seemed like creeps... good job. Talked to a guy last night and just asked him in general about the app and he told me there are lots of people who waste your time being really keen to meet up but only looking for pictures to collect or something. Hrm... This guy was also, according to the app, 300ish meters from my house which seemed pretty kooky to have displayed. I guess that's why this app is used so much for hook ups, being able to see how far away the other guy is and all... I think I should turn that function off.

While on the app, it also seems to me that being 19 is pretty young... There aren't really any other people who are below 20, then again you're supposed to be above 18 to use the app so it makes sense. I wonder if I'll actually get anything out of this app... Dernoes. I hate my picture... then again I hate all pictures of me. Hah.

Thar thar... you might not be forever alone

At work the other day, an elderly Japanese couple came in. The husband had dementia and the Japanese woman was telling me about how hard it was but she did it very cheerfully and conversationally. It had me taken aback a bit but I suppose if you are going to tell your problems to a complete stranger you would feel too  self conscious to appear unhappy as well. She had two sons but said she didn't ask them for help because they were doing their own things and didn't want to make them worry which made me feel sad for her. Her sons were also 50ish with no children. This makes me think about what I'd have to do in the future to take care of my parents. Granted it would probably be a lot easier compared to what the old lady was going through. The optom said that all he did in the clinic room was sing and he couldn't even read the English letters so he just auto refracted him. I couldn't get him to sign the medicare form either because he just didn't understand. He was pleasant though and just sung something similar to the alphabet. Makes you think.

Now I feel petty here complaining about doing nothing on a Friday night... or never really doing anything on a Friday night. Seems like other kids always have plans or at least people they could hang with. This is just whining haha.

Things I noted this week.

- I find it amusing how you guys are so happy to talk about how you never really try out the things I suggest or whatnot. Not that I care that much it's just amusing.
- I'd rather you not talk to me because I'm already in that habit... so just don't
- Also find it amusing when people consider the seat next to you very visibly then move off somewhere else
- I feel ugly with glasses. I don't particularly like looking like a fob for some reason.
- They're making a PC port of Dark Souls ! wee (not that I'll buy it)
- D3 is on open beta (for only this weekend zzz)
- Scramble with friends is too hard... time to give up
- I want to eat out somewhere nice.
- I haven't listened to black in ages

Wheee

I've been sick for the past week... it sucks. How do you get sick twice in the space of a month wtf.