procrastination whine

yeah so... yeah.

so gym on monday morning was particularly depressing thinking about how everyone in there is probably straight and how alone that can make me feel.

I saw the dude I saw aaaaaaaaaaall of last year who I used to somewhat stare down when I first joined the gym for some reason. He got a mohawk buzz cut that seems to be in right now. Looks funky. When I saw him on the day it was more like...

'theres the guy youve seen for a whole year but never had any guts to talk to'

i asked him if he was using the funny handle things on the pull down machine
i reiterate he talks like a whiteboy
hes also more buff than before! anyway

so xavs says today that he overheard some huge asian guy talk about how when you go to the gym...

1. you first wear a tshirt coz youre self conscious
2. then you wear singlets and shit coz you think youre huge
3 then you go back to shirts because you find out its silly to show off

i hope i never get to singlet. although i did wear my nike one a few times. now i know better. gg ive doomed myself already

so this optom thing has patted my ego and self confidence. I'm acutely aware of this and it worries me quite a bit. I hope i dont become a douche. . . or at least more douche. Change you notice in yourself is heaps scary.

Optom photos are funny but heaps ironic to the point of depression. sigh.
sigh...

I should also get off facebook as looking at guys that would never be interested in me ever is also depressing

sigh



No gg, so bm. I don't even know what bm is

No time to be depressed. I should overload myself with work so I can't think

my heart broke when i saw you kept your gaze controlled :/